plz talk dirty to me
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
