the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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