God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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