at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
