this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
