I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
