Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
