i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
