I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
