Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
