Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
