Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
