Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
