so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
