There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Floor bacon is actually really good
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
