wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
