Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
