Im at strip club and am horny
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
