I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
it glows. i had to have it.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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