I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i think im in europe. pls send help
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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