Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
