Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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