I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
