I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
