either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sex in a hospital.. check
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
