I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
