In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
