But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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