Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
