my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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