she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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