Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
