Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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