do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
just come out here and I will go home with you...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
