do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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