I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
