PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
