you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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