So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
are you so shy because you have an std?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I need water and some morals
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
