I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
