Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The adults are the big ones right?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
