There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just found puke in my bra..
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
