All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
