i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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