i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
