I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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