this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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