The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
