I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
