can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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