Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
